Projo Offbeat Blog

Dr. D2

Boston.com has a story reporting that some hospitals are using robots to see patients because of a shortage of specialists.

I'm going to guess that the robots have warmer personalities than some real doctors.

Warmer hands, too.

Although the story carries a headline saying, "The robot will see you now," it notes that doctors at the Lahey Clinic "use the term 'robot' loosely, because the device doesn't have artificial intelligence."

A doctor in some other location controls the machine, guiding it along hallways and into patients' rooms, (I wonder if they can teach them to swing golf clubs and drive Cadillacs, too.) Once bedside, the robot enables the doctor to see and communicate with the patient.
It also allows the doctor to check the patient's monitors.

I wonder what happens to the heart monitor when a patient wakes up to find out that R2D2 is his doctor.

Instead of dieting, exercising or wasting money on weight-loss books and pills, why not move to Mississippi or some other fat state?

Everything is relative and since Mississippi has more fat people than any other state, according to a new national report, I'm thinking you'd look thinner just by changing your environment, right?

That's right. Hang out with a bunch of chunky people and look lean.

If you don't like Mississippi cooking, you could also move to Alabama, West Virginia, Louisiana or South Carolina, which round out the top five fat states.

If moving is too much -- if you'd rather just stay on the couch eating potato chips -- chances are you can stay in any state and look thinner, or at least not look any fatter, relatively speaking. Obesity rates increased in 23 states and didn't decrease in any, according to the report.

But stay away from Colorado. That's the leanest state. And those of us who live in Rhode Island, Massachusetts or Connecticut might be surprised to learn that we're among the leanest Americans.

And we can try to convince our friends that we're really thinner than we look. It's just that everyone else is so skinny.

AP Photos

I posted these photos from the men's Spring-Summer 2010 fashion collection in Paris, so you know that fashion designers don't just humiliate female fashion models with ridiculous designs like the
book hat, the bighorn sheep look or the tomato plant hat. Both were created by German born designer Bernhard Willhelm. I'm not sure, but I think the guy on the right has two GI Joes wrestling on his helmet. We should know for sure when the look hits the streets next spring.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford did hikers everywhere a disservice with his cover story about hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Hikers have enough trouble being taken seriously and now that Sanford used a fake hiking trip to cover up a visit to his girlfriend in Argentina, hikers will find even more skepticism in their path.

Hiking might not be an actual sport, but I think it's a legitimate recreational activity, although non-hikers don't always seem to understand that.

"You're going where to do what?," the non-hikers ask. "What do you do out there by yourself? Commune with the trees? Talk to the chipmunks?"

Try to talk hiking at work when your co-workers run marathons, race sailboats or play in an over-30 ice hockey league.

"Gee, I'm a little sore from the hike I took around the pond."

"You went for a hike. That's great. I ran Boston. I'm a little sore, too."

A lot of hikers don't help themselves. They can look like overgrown Boy Scouts dressed in their boots, high socks and shorts with enough pockets to carry their granola bars, Swiss Army knives, compasses, and GPS systems, all for a 20-minute walk in the woods.

A lot of people just don't understand hiking or hikers, and maybe that's why Sanford used it as a cover story. Maybe he thought people would just shake their heads, dismiss it as a flaky-hiker story and move on.

Now he's in a mess -- and not just because his wife has no shot now at being first lady -- and hikers everywhere are facing the third-degree.

"I'm going for a hike, honey."

"Why are you going for a hike?"

"Just trying to get a little exercise."

"I know what kind of exercise you're trying to get."

"Huh?"

"I'm checking your e-mail."

"What does my e-mail have to do with it?"

"I know where you're going. You're going to Argentina."

"In an hour?"

"I know you're having an affair."

"I think I'll just stay here and clean out the garage."

I, for one, am glad PETA stuck up for the fly that President Obama killed.

And I'm pleased for a couple of reasons.

I'm happy to know that PETA doesn't defend just the most glamorous members of the animal kingdom -- the chickens, pigs and mice.

Now it appears that PETA will just as adamantly defend the rights of a carpenter ant, cockroach or termite. I'm sure that millions of flies are crushed or gassed to death every day, but until now, it seemed that nobody cared. Flies just aren't as cute or cuddly as seal pups.

AP Photo

A waxwork model of President Obama is equipped with a fly swat, at Madame Tussauds waxworks museum in central London.

"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."

We can't be sure if this was a teaching moment for our young president. So far the White House hasn't offered any apology to the dead fly, its friends and family or concerned fly lovers around the world.

If the president doesn't change his ways and pledge not to hurt another fly, it will be interesting to see if PETA turns up the heat the way it normally would -- by sending scantily clad women, this time wearing a skimpy fly suit, to protest outside the White House.

I do hope some bellicose leaders of foreign countries took notice of the way the president dispatched that fly, but I suspect the president will think twice before raising his hand to another fly, whether he's being televised or not. He just doesn't need the criticism.

Besides, he's too busy for this kind of thing. We learned last month hat he and his wife, Michelle, flew to New York City for a date. Now we find out he's spending time swatting flies.

If you ask me, the president shouldn't be wasting time swatting flies. He should have his own personal fly swatter or, as PETA might prefer, his own fly catcher. I'm sure lots of professional athletes have their own personal fly swatters. Doesn't the president deserve one?

And, I'm sorry, PETA, but I don't want him running around the White House with the Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher that you sent him. Sure, it's supposed to be a gentle way to catch bugs and send them outside, but how would it look if he were to interrupt a meeting with heads of state to chase a fly around the room?

And what if the freed fly ends up in the office of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell? Would the president be accused of playing dirty politics?

But most importantly, President Obama is the leader of the free world. Doesn't he already have enough to do in trying to fix the economy, overhaul health care or figure out who's going to win next year's NCAA basketball tournament?

The sad story of the two would-be Woonsocket bounty hunters is another example of Rhode Island's hostility toward the entrepreneurial spirit.

Dog

In another state, they might have become TV stars like Duane "Dog" Chapman, star of Dog the Bounty Hunter, but in the Ocean State, despite an 11 percent unemployment rate, they ended up getting locked up.

Maybe Brandon Johnson, 36, and Ronald Cervantes, 39, were inspired by Dog when did some research on the Web site beabountyhunter.com then went into business.

In case you've missed it -- and Dog is hard to miss -- Dog the Bounty Hunter is a popular reality show on the A&E Network. The star is an ex-convict who has turned his life around and now operates from Hawaii and sometimes Colorado.

Dog looks scarier than most of the people he chases. He has long dyed-blond hair, wears biker gear and open leather shirts that show off his pumped-up pecs and biceps.

Dog apparently makes a lot of money from his show, which is a good thing because he has about 50 kids, and they all seem to work for him. He also says he has more grandchildren than he can count, and they'll probably work for him too. Before long, the bounty hunters on Hawaii will outnumber the tourists or even the fugitives.

Cervantes and Johnson

The show typically goes like this: Dog and his family identify their target, talk about the threat he or she brings to them and society. They drive around looking for their bounty, and get misled by a few of the fugitive's friends and family members before capturing their quarry.

The take down is the highlight. If the fugitive runs, it's entertaining to watch Dog try to run, too, since he's weighed down by age, motorcycle boots and chains. Fortunately, he's got all those kids. Otherwise, the show might feature a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter trying to get his first bounty.

When Dog and family capture their prey, there's often a lot of bad words and some wrestling. Occasionally there's a near fight as Dog or his wife, Beth, who's even louder than her husband, jaw with at an angry friend or family member of the fugitive. In the end, though, everyone makes up with hugs and apologies.

The especially touching moments come when Dog and his pack have their bounty in the car, on the way to the police station. Dog or somebody else will light a cigarette for the poor guy being hauled off to jail. Then Dog morphs into Dr. Phil as he encourages the poor fugitive to kick his habit and turn his life around.

And then they all cry. Dog looks tough, but he's really a softie. It's great TV.

Dog the Bounty Hunter has plenty of fans. The show averages 2 million viewers for each new episode. It has its own theme song and its own Web site that sells clothing and other Dog stuff. Sadly, none of this could happen here, because Rhode Island law doesn't allow for bounty hunters.

Planning is an important part of business success. If only Woonsocket's bounty hunters had planned better. If they'd have visited the State House, talked about their plans for a new business and TV series, hinted at some guest starring roles, maybe they'd still be in business.

Isn't there too much road rage already?

Aren't insurance adjusters busy enough?

Now a state representative wants Rhode Island to offer its drivers New York Yankees license plates.

If the state is going to offer Red Sox fans the chance to buy Red Sox plates, it's only fair to let the many Yankees fans in the Ocean State the chance to buy Yankees plates, says Cranston Rep. Charlene Lima.

So we could have rival Red Sox and Yankees fans competing for the last parking space at the mall.

Drivers in my state of Massachusetts have a reputation for bad behavior, but they've got nothing on Rhode Island drivers.

If Lima's idea becomes reality, I see major traffic jams on the I-way as Red Sox fans refuse to let Yankees fans pass.

I see demolition derbies on Route 95.

At least we'll have fair warning if a Yankees fan is sneaking up on us, but then their behavior usually gives them away anyway.

Sure, this bill could be good for Yankees fans, but it could be even better for auto body shop owners.